Just a quick quiz update before my annual Christmas journal stuff, so don't mind me.
I'll try to answer this with people you guys know, because last I checked I had about 715 pencil babies and no I'm not joking.

Ninja'd from , who stole it from


Who is...

1. Your loudest character?
Picayune and Pagotamiar. You can hear them from miles away, I swear.

2. Your shyest?
Mirage is extremely shy, but she has reasons for that. Besides her, Liregius is quite reserved, but once again that's motivated by fear on his part.

3. Your angriest?
I'd have to say Monika, based solely on the fact that she pretty much hates everybody right about now. Besides her, it's Revenge, but his conflicts are internal.

4. Your horniest?
STING. Zircon can be bad, but that bug's got him beat.

5. Your poorest?
Oh geez, I have a fair amount of them. Tops has to be Volt, though; he has absolutely nothing and is blissfully unaware of that fact.

6. Your richest?
Pamela is fairly well off, and I assume Yvonna is too. She works in NYC for heaven's sakes.

7. Your craziest?
Vezerai, sadly. He's suffering from so much upstairs it pains me to write him sometimes.

8. Your weirdest?
Boniface, hands down. In short, he's a body-snatching alien who just happened to steal some Texan governmental dude's identity.

Who was...

1. Your first character?
A little orange alien by the name of Zimbo. I've been drawing him since I was 5.

2. Your most recent character?
That would be another J-Monster. He currently has no name but I like him. He floats!

3. List your characters, and three traits they each possess.
No chance of that happening, sweetheart. Here's a handful of popular guys, though:
Delphi: Intelligent, obsessed, desperate
Selph: Curious, high-strung, childlike
Mr. Sandman: Empathetic, imaginative, reliable
Justice: Forgiving, unsure, hopeful
Hosea: Extroverted, conflicted, detached

4. Out of all your characters, who is most like you?
Besides me? I'm actually like a fusion of Xorane and Volt, which is kind of a shock for me.
Xor is used to being distant, professional and over-ambitious, and he also doesn't always realize the consequences of his actions. However, he'd give his life for the people he loved in a heartbeat-- if he wasn't terrified of the emotional shock it would cause them (I've personally dubbed that a Xorane complex). On that note, when he does find himself facing emotions, good or bad, he either panics or tries to suppress them, because he has no idea what he's supposed to do with them... even if they're truer than anything else he's ever experienced.
On the other hand, I'm just as optimistic, energetic, curious and open-hearted as Volt... but I also have his naivete. I can't hurt others, and I can't comprehend how others can do that without even thinking twice. I try to see everything through a child's eyes, although I don't understand most of the world, and I suffer for it. I can't cope with my daily life, I let myself be taken advantage of and I don't even realize it... and, above all, I ultimately can't be tied down. I'm always running away, trying to find a place that matches my perception of life.
So yes, I can definitely relate closely to those two characters.




Well, that was fun.

On a closing note, for those of you who are waiting for Christmas presents from me, I am finishing up the last of my work and mailing them out ASAP. They'll be on the way by Thursday, God willing.

There's a 'major' update coming in a day or two, so keep an eye out.
Until then, have a good night!

Figured I'd give you guys an all-around random update on what's going on in my manic little life.
Hey, it's midnight, I'm exhausted, and I feel like updating. It works.



Saw 2012 this week; it was incredible. If someone tells you it's a mishmosh of special effects with no plot, they are a liar

Bought a Bionicle the other day out of pure nostalgia. His name is Gelu and he is gorgeous. His job is holding my Orbit gum because he literally matches the package.

Speaking of nostalgia, I just bought the entire Seventh Tower series online and am now waiting in ecstatic patience for the postman.

I woke up with ridiculous Digidestined hair the other day and here is the unfortunate proof.

I'm cracking down on all 16 of my original series. Currently I'm refining all major characters and fleshing out thinner plots a bit more. It's a lot of work, but I adore my OCs and I know that many of you do too, so above all it's a labor of love.

Discovered the amazing Fantastic Plastic Machine yesterday. Put on those headphones!

I got a Tumblr. Say hello!

This.

Jimmy, I am currently re-writing Heartless Hatred into FL but the opening rhythm is killing me oh man

My bro ~BTedge116 got GTA for his birthday. I never expected it to be so awesomely hilarious! I can literally watch him play that for hours and never get bored.

I find it ridiculously hilarious how I'm constantly under stress and have a mountain of projects to complete at all times, and yet I never have anything worthwhile to update with.
Maybe if I got a Slap Chop my life would be less boring. OPINIONS?



So yes, that's how my week has been.

Carry on, ladies and gentlemen!

I was tagged by my buddy =jamesprower... to do a meme!
I haven't filled out one of these in ages, but they're fun, so here you go. Enjoy!

Rules:
1: Pick 6 characters (I read Jimmy's fill-out of this, so I'm using OCs of mine that would work.)
2. No skipping
3. Have them answer the questions

1- Sapphire
2- Delphi
3- Picayune
4- Vontricia
5- Sting
6- Kaeto
And a picture of all of them!

Here we go!


What's your name?

Sapphire: *points to her name to the left* Right there.

Delphi: I see no valid reason why I should tell you.

Picayune: Picayune, Panic Striker, that soda-obsessed freak, whatever you wanna call me.

Vontricia: I'm Vontricia, but you can call me Vonnie! Nice to meet you!

Sting: I go by Sting. *nods hello*

Kaeto: Kaeto~! It's the best name ever! ...It's not my real name, though. *grumble*


How old are you?

Sapphire: Twenty-six. It does feel longer, though.

Delphi: Old enough.

Picayune: Eh, dunno. I was biologically modified a while back; I've lost track since then.

Vontricia: Nineteen!

Sting: Twenty-nine.

Kaeto: I'm seventeen, almost in college! Woo!


What's your marital status?

Sapphire: I'm single. I can't see myself getting married...

Delphi: *raises eyebrow* Marital status? Does that include my fangirls, perchance?

Picayune: Don't care. *gets out a can of soda*

Vontricia: Oh, I'm too young to get married yet, but I do want to get married someday, as long as it's not... um... I guess I'll just wait and see if I can find someone before I start thinking about that.

Sting: Pfeh, I'm a miserable bachelor. I've had more than my share of women.

Kaeto: *blushes* Single, duh! I'm still in high school!


Are you a virgin?

Sapphire: No... I do regret it though.

Delphi: Don't be ridiculous, there's nothing under this cape.

Picayune: I'm asexual, and I'm a cyborg. Basically, I'm a permanent virgin.

Vontricia: Haha, yeah! I'm waiting for that special person.

Sting: Nah, man, I lost that ages ago.

Kaeto: *still blushing* Mm-hmm..


Any children?

Sapphire: I can't have children, sadly. I've always wanted kids of my own.

Delphi: Yes. I have two beautiful daughters.

Picayune: *chokes on her soda laughing*

Vontricia: I want some one day, but I'll have to adopt them. I'll still love them!

Sting: Most likely. God only knows who has 'em, though.

Kaeto: *bright red* Can you stop asking me these questions?


How often do you get drunk?

Sapphire: Not very often. I only drink on social occasions, and even then I don't have many.

Delphi: Only in memes, my friend.

Picayune: Heheheh! *points to her soda* I'm getting drunk right now, man.

Vontricia: Oh, I don't drink. I'm not old enough anyway!

Sting: Almost every go**amn night, kid. Take it from someone who's been there-- it's nowhere near as fun as it sounds.

Kaeto: I have to wait a few years to have alcohol, but do energy drinks count? If so that's very often.


How many sex partners have you had?

Sapphire: I'd... rather not talk about that.

Delphi: Excuse me, but are you a nymphomaniac?

Picayune: *too drunk on soda to bother answering*

Vontricia: I'm only going to have one, and that person will hopefully be my wife.

Sting: What, you're expecting me to keep track?

Kaeto: None! Now please stop asking me; I'm getting embarrassed...


What's your dress style?

Sapphire: I try to be fashionable, but with my unusual complexion that can be tricky. Really, it all boils down to what I feel confident in.

Delphi: Sexy.

Picayune: *snerk* I'm au naturale, hehe. Happy with my tubing.

Vontricia: Oh man, I love wild outfits! The stranger the better. I used to work at a clothing store, too, so I'm pretty experienced with putting outfits together!

Sting: Whatever's wearable. Usually I just toss on jeans and a jacket.

Kaeto: Harajuku!! I love Japanese fashions; they're so kawaii!


How would you be stereotyped?

Sapphire: *bitterly* I've been called a slut before.

Delphi: The villain, obviously. It's a very tiring stereotype.

Picayune: That loud-mouthed a**hole no one wants to be around.

Vontricia: The rebel, haha!

Sting: Forget stereotypes, I'm already a dead-end drunkard.

Kaeto: *huff* People keep calling me a weeaboo! I am not!


If you were a member of DevArt, what would your name be?

Sapphire: Hmm. I don't know what I'd do if I joined, but I like bunny-babe as a username.

Delphi: I'm already on dA. What, you weren't aware of that?

Picayune: Something ridiculous, mind you. I be trollin'.

Vontricia: I think griffinclock19 would work.

Sting: Hah-- me, on deviantART? Now that's just ridiculous.

Kaeto: Ooh! What about xxDDR-Magexx? Or sailorkaeto04!


Do you like fruits or vegetables?

Sapphire: Both. I'm not particular; I like eating healthy.

Delphi: I can't say I've had much of either.

Picayune: Nah, I don't eat. Give me some soda and it's all cool.

Vontricia: I'll eat anything as long as it's healthy!

Sting: Eh, no preference.

Kaeto: Fruit is better. Some vegetables are pretty icky.


Have you ever killed anyone?

Sapphire: No, that goes against my beliefs. Besides, I'm not that sort of person.

Delphi: Why yes, I have. Ironically, I never took the one I wanted.

Picayune: Naah, not me. I've come close though. Gotta do my job.

Vontricia: No! Why would I ever do that?

Sting: No, best I've done is sending some guys to the hospital.

Kaeto: Only in video games. But I, um... I've seen people die before.


Have you ever said or done anything to intentionally hurt a person?

Sapphire: I have to be honest and say I have, but that was back when I was bitter and without direction. I took my anger out on everyone around me.

Delphi: I'd tell you, but I fear your immense stupidity has atrophied my brain cells.

Picayune: I've strangled people with my legs before. Oh, and my language goes without saying.

Vontricia: Yeah... but it was pretty thoughtless of me. I can be a bit reckless, y'know.

Sting: Course I have, man, that's life.

Kaeto: Yeah, some people really get on my nerves. I feel kinda bad about it though.


Have you been heartbroken?

Sapphire: Yes, it's been broken many times. You have to learn to just get up and keep going, even if it hurts.

Delphi: That information is confidential.

Picayune: ...Once.

Vontricia: Haha, yeah, a couple times. I guess I'm just asking for it.

Sting: Maybe, but I've become far too numb to recognize it.

Kaeto: I don't know... yes? I can't really tell...


What was your family like?

Sapphire: I miss them. My father died when I was a teenager, and my mother and I have long since lost touch... but I only have myself to blame for that. I've been getting by on my own for years now, but I think about them both constantly.

Delphi: My only 'family' would be my two daughters, and I treasure them both.

Picayune: I don't remember them. My friends are the closest thing I have to a family now, and I swear to you, they are beyond anything I could have asked for.

Vontricia: It's good, really. I have the best little sister in the world, but my parents don't really approve of my lifestyle. They're okay with it, but I dunno. I guess I can't complain.

Sting: They mattered. They really mattered.

Kaeto: I'm still living with my family... but they're alright.


How tall are you?

Sapphire: I've always been tall. I think I stand around 6 feet right now, and that's not counting my ears!

Delphi: Taller than you.

Picayune: That changes daily, man. I can be anywhere from three feet to like... twenty.

Vontricia: 5'10''! I'm nice and tall.

Sting: Don't know, I haven't really bothered to check.

Kaeto: About 5'4'', I guess.


Do you have a magic familiar? If so, what is it?

Sapphire: Haha, no! But I wouldn't mind the company.

Delphi: ...Give me a minute. *steals Shade from Madhatz* This thing works, right?

Picayune: *holds up soda can*

Vontricia: I have a little griffin named Trilby! I love her; we're best buddies.

Sting: The heck are you talking about now?

Kaeto: No, but I really want one! I'm a magical girl after all, I should have my own Kero-chan or something.


What's your battling specialty?

Sapphire: I don't know; I can't say I've been in many battles.

Delphi: Ah, but if I gave that away, it wouldn't be so special anymore.

Picayune: Strangulation! That and annoying the sh** out of people. Works like a charm!

Vontricia: I have time-related powers, so I use those the best I can!

Sting: I'll just punch the other guy's lights out. No need to start some idiotic brawl.

Kaeto: Magic! *does some fancy movements* You know, Moon Spiral Heart Attack~!


Do you like your creator?

Sapphire: I've only begun to speak with her recently, but she seems like a nice person.

Delphi: *gang signs* Tell your mother I said thanks for the Harley.

Picayune: She's cool, she's cool. She's just TERRIBLE at getting me into tournaments, and I blame it on her lack of soda. Admit it, J, you know that's causing all your problems.

Vontricia: Yes I do, and she likes me back! Get over here so I can hug you!

Sting: Can't say much about him... her... whatever that kid is.

Kaeto: I guess so. I haven't seen them much, but I suppose they can't be all that bad.


Would you be lovers with your creator?

Sapphire: No, I don't think that would go over well.

Delphi: Don't be ridiculous.

Picayune: We're both asexual, you freakazoid.

Vontricia: *giggle* That depends on if she wants me to be or not!

Sting: No offense, but hell no. She already has one, and I know the guy. He'd murder me if I even considered it.

Kaeto: Ew, no! I only like guys!


What's the most random thing you've ever done?

Sapphire: I had to marry this little bug-guy in a meme, once. That was pretty funny!

Delphi: *wearing a glam-rocker outfit and holding twelve accordions* This.

Picayune: Probably that time Bastion had me go check on his kid in the middle of winter. I was roof-hopping through the snow for a stupidly long time... but it was nice. I'll have to make up an excuse and do that again this year.

Vontricia: I went back in time to re-watch a concert once! I slept for like two days after that, but it was so worth it.

Sting: My whole life feels pretty random right about now.

Kaeto: I once played DDR for about four hours straight...


Did you like answering these questions?

Sapphire: Yes, actually. I don't typically get to participate in questionnaires, so this was fun.

Delphi: I must admit I did.

Picayune: Hey, gives me an excuse to slack off for a while. Works for me.

Vontricia: Yep! Thanks for giving me the questions in the first place!

Sting: It was alright. Nice switch from my typical schedule.

Kaeto: Yeah, it was fun!





There you go, Jimmy! Told you I'd make time for this, although I did get some help from Vontricia. *rimshot*

As for tagging, feel free to steal this if you want it and ignore it if you don't. Your choice!



I'm off for the day, though, so I'll be seeing you guys.

All right, guys, the last journal issues have been completely settled, so don't go worrying about that.

This is just a placeholder for now; I'll update again if anything interesting happens!

I have a strange question for all of you.
I apologize in advance if this sounds ridiculous, is overly vague, or reminds you of my old depression-laced entries, but...


I'm in a very painful situation here, and I literally don't know where to turn.

I've said some terrible things to some amazing people... things that are entirely untrue, that were triggered solely by blind desperation and frustration on my part.
I've been distant, cold, unreachable; I've been completely lost.
I've been forgetting the things that mean the world to me, and I've been taking priceless things for granted.
I've been too unsure of everything to even try to fix the problems I've caused, and now I'm afraid I've lost my chances.


It's the worst feeling in the world, you know?
Ever since my childhood, I've lost virtually everyone I've ever loved in some way. That's not an exaggeration, and I can still feel every sting as sharply as I did when it first stabbed me.

But now... now, it's entirely my fault, I think.
It feels as if I've completely destroyed the most beautiful thing I've ever been given, only to find myself single-handedly trying to put all the little glass shards back together.
Even worse, I'm the only one in the room. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only one who realizes how tragically devastating this is, and although I'd give almost anything to fix that irreplaceable chandelier, that brilliant source of light, I can't do it alone. I need help, and I need a lot of it... but, if I asked anyone for aid, I'd first have to show them what I did. I'd have to show them all the broken glass and teardrops... and I'm terrified to show them to any soul out there, because I know I'd be condemned for shattering such a beautiful thing.

I've decided to risk it.
I'll never know unless I try... and let's face it; I'd rather take the chance that I might be able to fix this. I want to fix this, not hide in my fear, sentencing myself to live with these shards cutting me open until the day I die.



I apologize for the imagery, but this isn't a situation I can openly talk about yet. It hurts too much, the details are unknown to me, and I feel completely sightless. It's terrifying and it's heartbreaking.



I don't know how I manage to do this to myself, to everyone else...
I don't know how I manage to cause so much misery, but God knows I'd give almost anything to keep this from ever happening again.


I just want forgiveness.
I need a second chance...