I'm sorry. How many times have I said that? Far too many, it seems
And yet In my heart There's still so much I have to apologize for.
Or do I?
You say there isn't
You say I don't owe you anything You say we're on exactly the same level
And I believe you. Honestly I do.
I believed those words with all my heart
But... I guess I've already been hardwired Over the past eighteen years To accept these pains as my fault Even when they're not
Just so the blame goes somewhere Just so the fights stop Just so the damage heals Just so the tears dry Because I don't want anyone to suffer like that Because of such a misunderstanding
I know how it feels.
So for a very long time I took all the blame Took all the hurt Took all the shame
And nearly died On the inside.
So you had me promise you That I would change If not for my own sake Then for yours. How many times have you said that? How many times Over the years Have I been told that?
Why don't I ever listen?
Why am I always such a...
I'm still so afraid To let go To hold on To open up To close out To say things To keep quiet
To be me For everyone's sake.
Why? Is it really that hard Why am I so scared? To change what they've turned me into?
To take off the mask they fashioned for me A strange with their and lonely child? blind hands? I had felt so lost...
To leave this name behind And finally live The way I've always dreamed of living? To succeed?
I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never meant for it to. But I couldn't let it go unvoiced Even if I couldn't find the strength to speak.
You said it back.
You actually said it back.
Oh, I never doubted it I hoped for it with everything I was
And simply prayed That I wasn't mistaken
Hoping too hard for something beautiful That I never really had.
And yet I believed it just the same.
Desperate Scared Lost I believed it just the same.
...How did you feel?
You're so lucky, though.
You can cry when the pain hits.
I hold it all inside. And I've been keeping it hidden For so long That I've forgotten how to let it go.
And it hurts.
A glass heart can only take so much, you know.
A little too much No matter what it is Just a little more pressure Good or bad Both? And the glass shatters.
Tiny little pieces All over the cathedral floor. Takes a long time to pick 'em up
By myself, that is.
There's only one problem.
When I finally get myself back together There's always a piece or two missing.
Most of the time I've given them away To the souls who put themselves in danger Picking up the pieces The tiny bits of broken glass (So many of them...) Kind of like a kaleidoscope That someone was careless with With their bare hands.
One too many times. Don't you get cut? Even a little?
But you only smile Hide your bloodied hands So I don't blame myself again
"It's okay." "But I--" "Please... don't worry about me..."
"...You're the one who's heart is in pieces."
And then I realize My hands are a lot bloodier than yours From all the times "Let me be the one I had to try and fix myself alone. to worry for once... ...Okay?" "...Okay."
But it's terrible Because for the longest time
All I could do in return
was smile And thank you with all my heart
Or at least... ... as much of it as I could give.
It's always so difficult to say. Is that all right with you? But all I can do is try.
The sunset is reflecting off this glass heart of mine
I'm very impressed at how you've made use of the simple space provided for poetry, without having to submit a handwritten arrangement. There's a very clear sense of an inner struggle conveyed through the left and right contrasting margins, which would have been much less resolute and obvious had you stuck to a single alignment.
Beyond that, I'm impressed that you were able to keep the thoughts running for so long. Quite often I see people attempt to convey their emotions into simple words, and the resulting poem may be effective but it is so short that one doesn't feel as though the writer was committed to their feelings. This piece of yours is quite committed, it shows a deeper understanding of the very tensions of a conflicted affection and so the reader feels all the more understood. And of course, a mixture of dialogue - crossing between the left and right margins, cleverly - and larger introspection is probably the best way you could have possibly conveyed this complex subject.
I love how the lines mirror the theme of the poem, all broken up and whimsical. Hard to fit them together sometimes, to see which ones go where, but they make sense if you read them generally in the right order. Beautiful piece, love the theme too. Takes a cliche idea and makes it unique. Your perspective and words are very insightful. I think the other thing I loved about it was how innocent and world-weary the words were, all at the same time. The piece has so many facets. Great work!
Welcome CSS can be
you're unfamiliar to
it. So that's why
we're writing these
articles! If you
have any suggestions
or would like to
write a section in
future CSS Did You
are like Ogres by
Magepresented by the
This article came
about after a
requested that we
write ten clear,
simple tips for
information can be
very useful, but
it down into
chunks is so much
easier. So without
further ado plea...
--- dear friends and
ly I'm not longer
able to make my
large news in
deviant art... the
shows the numbers of
the thumbs but not
the pics...so I'm
just going on here
with my little
hope you enjoy it
See the light and
in photography is a
art. One of the most
of a photographer is
to see light and to
remember it. Light
is the most changing
element in our daily
life. We move among
solid objects and
among people who do
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More